Kramer

 Kramer's Interview Of 2004

What's your full name, or something?
Trygve Johan Solheim

Your date of birth?
21/09/79

What's your opinion on Jar Jar Binks?
He's the greatest thing that never existed. Better than hamburger, man. HAMBURGER! If he was a God, I would worship him. If he was a woman, I would marry him. If he was a banana, I would eat him. If he was a blue sock, I would wear him. *That* is how much I love him. He's simply the best, as Tina Turner would probably say.

Who's your favourite Star Wars character?
Darth Vader

Your favourite Star Wars quote?
"Mesa day startin pitty okiday with a brisky morning munchen"

What made you join AFSJJBDDD?
A long lost member called Jostein, who was a co-afs'er before he disappeared, convinced me to check it out. And when I saw that it was filled with laughter and joy, I decided to stay.

What qualities do you have that you think make you an important member of AFSJJBDDD?
I post a helluva lot to the 880. I'm also capable of posting a good "aye" once in a while.

What's your favourite music album?
Iron Maiden - No Prayer For The Dying

If you could describe yourself in a 3 words, which words wouldn't you use?
Cucumber, fish and modern.

If you were on a small, deserted island, and had 3 wishes, would one of those wishes be for a boat?
Nah. I'd rather take helicopter or something. If they just gave me a boat and nothing to steer it with, for example, I would either have been forced to use the other two wishes on boat-equipment or I'd be in deep trouble. With the helicopter I would get much faster home, *and* I would still have two wishes left.

Which number do you prefer, 880 or 1138?
That's like asking "Who do you prefer of mom and dad?" So it can't be answered. They are both equally lovable.

If you weren't an AFSJJBDDDer, where would you see yourself now?
I'd be a successful doctor, with a huuuge house in Beverly Hills, with a pretty little wife, 4 dogs called "Butch", "Cassidy", "Sundance" and "Kid", 40 cars and more money than I could ever spend. But this was all sacrificed for the sake of AFSJJBDDD and the 880, of course.

If you could have ANOTHER celebrity [not Ahmed Best or George Lucas] to join AFSJJBDDD, who would you like it to be?
Probably Jerry Seinfeld, since he's always funny and enjoyable. But it would be cool if Clint Eastwood dropped by sometimes too so I could tell him how much I love his work.

Do you reckon fat people are harder to kidnap?
Absolutely. Just think about the food expenses! If I kidnap a fat person they will immediately be put on a diet, and I won't release them until they've got a healthy weight.

What's your favourite animal?
Double-Eiffel-tower shaped Giraffe.

There's a big butcher with a large, venomous chainsaw to your left, and a giant Stay-Puft Marshmallow man to your right, what do you do?
I'd ask them if they wanna become regs at afsjjbddd.

Guns or Knives?
Guns. Mostly because of the classic Connery speech from The Untouchables. "He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue! That's the Chicago way, and that's the way to get to Capone." Also, it's so much cooler to shoot with a gun. You can blow body parts off, man. OFF! With a knife you have to cut for like minutes until anything happens. BORING! No, give me a Magnum 44 over a Rambo knife any day.

Your opinion on glue?
Glue is great. I like the smell of it and I like that it has a function too; You get high while you're attaching things. But it's gotta be real glue, and not the white stuff we used in school. Ever tried to sniff that? Shiiit, it's worthless, man. Worthless! Jive-ass shit. It's gotta be the real deal, brotha.

Would you ever wear a sock/sandals combination?
I would never wear sandals at all. It was done to death by Julius Caesar and Jesus Christ 2000 years ago! 2000 YEARS AGO!! We're living in 2004 now, man, so I it's about time that this trend ends!

What he had to say for himself in 2003:

Hi! My name is Uncle Kramer! I come from a small place in Norway, and the only thing that is cool about that is the fact that it's not extremely far from where Georgie & Co filmed the Hoth scenes from Empire Strikes Back. That also means that it isn't always hot here. But luckily for me, I like cold and darkness, so it's kind of perfect.

I'm a big fan of Mr. Right Bastard, even if it's just because of his cool name. I spend a lot of time trying to get time to go by, which isn't always easy since I don't really have the time to do it. I'm infamous because of my really bad jokes, that some people actually laugh of sometimes. (Don't ask me why!) I'm good at always posting way too much uninteresting posts on AFSJJBDDD that nobody, but myself, read. But hey, at least I love those posts. Well, I guess that says it all. Good night! :o)

Rank on the Costanza Falcon:
Captain


We didn't have any carbonite, so we vacuum-packed him instead.


About Kramer:

The third Jar Jar Fan to bestow his presence upon us (or at least Wes and TE, at the time), Kramer started in style, posting:
I gotta tell you... I thought it was just a joke. Little did I know this newsgroup really existed! :o)
And thus all our children at AFS grew up to know AFSJJBDDD as a joke. Which was good, because it kept the trolls out.

Mister Trygve is so far above us that it's scary. He has his "own" band [more like his "own" several bands], where he sings and drums and does other scary stuff that gets him money.

As twisted an individual as Executor, Kramer also has his own collection of personal in-jokes:
"That's true!"
The smiley:   :o)
Numerous Seinfeld quotes
"JEG HAR BANGE ANELSER"
"Hmmmmm...... hmmmmmmm..... I don't think so!"
"Aye."
And so on.

Kramer is the longest surviving member at the group, about 7 foot long to be precise [that was like a joke, or something]. He's always been committed to the place, and despite his band touring and holidays, he always comes back and reads [and normally replies to] every single post. An efficient 880 poster that loves the 880 rather unhealtily. We're expecting a proposal any day now.