I just made another joke. It could be a nice contribution to your web site, Nick :) Oh well, here goes nothing: JAR JAR, THE CHOSEN ONE On the Forest Moon of Endor, near the shield generator... COMMANDER: This primitive was found getting lost in the forest. Although he denies it, I believe there may be more of them, and I request permission to conduct a further search of the area. He was armed with nothing. VADER: Good work, Commander. Leave us. Conduct your search and bring his companions to me. COMMANDER: Yes, my Lord. VADER: Jar Jar Binks. I should have killed you when I had the chance. JAR JAR: Uh oh! Mesa in big dodo this time. VADER: The Emperor has been expecting you. JAR JAR: My know, Ani. VADER: So, you have accepted the truth. JAR JAR: My have accepted da truth that yousa were once Ani, mesa friend. VADER: That name no longer has any meaning for me. JAR JAR: Dissen da name of yousa true self. Yousa only forgotten. My know there being good in yousa. Da Emperor no has driven it from yousa fully. That being why yousa couldn't destroy mesa 20 years ago. That being why yousa no will bring mesa to yousa Emperor now. Hey, wassen dis button do? Jar Jar pushes some of the buttons on Vader's suit before Vader pushes his hand away. VADER: Indeed you ARE annoying, as the Emperor has predicted. JAR JAR: Come with mesa. VADER: Obi-Wan once thought as you do. JAR JAR: Search yousa feelings, Ani. Mesa feel da conflict within yousa. Let go of yousa hate, okiday? VADER: It is too late for me, Jar Jar. The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force. He is your master now. JAR JAR: Then mesa friend truly being bombad. Jar Jar and Vader gets on a shuttle to the Emperor's chamber. EMPEROR: Welcome, young Jar Jar. I have been expecting you. Guards, leave us. I'm looking forward to making you my slave. In time you will call me Master. JAR JAR: Oh no, mesa die in here! EMPEROR: You have no idea how right you are. By now you must know your friend can never be turned from the dark side. So will it be with you. JAR JAR: Yousa wrong. Soon mesa being dead . . . and yousa with mesa. The Emperor laughs. EMPEROR: Perhaps you refer to the imminent attack of your Rebel fleet. Yes . . . I assure you we are quite safe from your friends here. JAR JAR: Yousa overconfidence being yousa bombad weakness. EMPEROR: Your faith in your friends is yours. VADER: It is pointless to resist, Jar Jar. EMPEROR: Everything that has transpired so far has done so according to my design. Your friends up there on the Sanctuary Moon are walking into a trap. As is your Rebel fleet! It was I who allowed the Alliance to know he location of the shield generator. It is quite safe from your pitiful little band. An entire legion of my best troops awaits them. JAR JAR: Mesa no likin that. EMPEROR: Oh . . . I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive. The Rebel fleet arrives right after, only to find a larger Imperial fleet waiting for them. EMPEROR: As you can see, my young apprentice, your friends have failed. Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station. Fire at will, Commander! The Death Star fires at some of the ships, completely disintegrating them. JAR JAR: Uh oh! Theysa stepping in big dodo this time. EMPEROR: Your fleet has lost. And your friends on the Endor moon will not survive. There is no escape, my young apprentice. The Alliance will die...as will your friends. Jar Jar looks at the armrest on the Emperor's chair. He becomes fascinated by all the buttons. Jar Jar pushes one of the buttons. JAR JAR: Wassen this button do? EMPEROR: You fool! That was the self destruct button for my entire fleet! From the window, they can see the entire Imperial fleet exploding. Some X-wings, as well as the Millenium Falcon moves towards the Death Star. EMPEROR: So be it! If you will not stop annoying me, you will be destroyed!!! The Emperor shoots blue lightning bolts at Jar Jar. Jar Jar screams in pain, until he is near death. EMPEROR: And now, Jar Jar, you will die. The outpouring of bolts from the Emperor's fingers increases in intensity, the sound screaming through the room. Jar Jar's body writhes in pain. JAR JAR: Ani, help mesa! Vader looks at Jar Jar, then the Emperor, before his eyes moves back to Jar Jar. He grabs the Emperor from behind, fighting for control of the robed figure. The Emperor struggles in his embrace, his bolt-shooting hands now lifted high, away from Jar Jar. Now the white lightning arcs back to strike at Vader. He stumbles with his load as the sparks rain off his helmet and flow down over his black cape. He holds his evil master high over his head and walks to the edge of the abyss at the central core of the throne room. With one final burst of his once awesome strength, Darth Vader hurls the Emperor's body into the bottomless shaft. Jar Jar approaches Vader. VADER: Jar Jar, stop playing with my buttons, and help me take this mask off. JAR JAR: But yousa die. VADER: Nothing can stop that now. Just. . . let me look on you with my own eyes. Jar Jar removes his mask. JAR JAR: Pee yousa! Yousa ugly! ANAKIN: Now . . . go, my friend. Leave me. JAR JAR: No. Yousa coming with mesa. Mesa no leaving yousa here. Mesa gonna save yousa. ANAKIN: You already have, Jar Jar. You were right about me. Tell Captain Tarpals . . . you were right. As of that moment, Anakin Skywalker dies and becomes one with the Force. As the Death Star is just about to explode, Jar Jar races into a nearby Imperial ship, trying to figure out how to fly it. JAR JAR: Mesa no know how to fly! Then, Jar Jar startles as he suddenly hears a voice. ANAKIN'S VOICE: Use the Force, Jar Jar. Jar Jar lets the Force flow through him, and he "accidently" pushes the right buttons, and flies safely away.