FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
This FAQ has been compiled to help normal people emerse themselves into the sick and twisted world of Aglami... I mean AFSJJBDDD. Frquently Asked Questions are... do I really have to explain this? Yes? Oh, okay then ...FAQs are questions that arise often in newsgroup topics. An example of this is "Why didn't Qui-Gon dissapear?" over at AFS [alt.fan.starwars].
Thanks go to Trygve Solheim, Nick Murdoch, and Steven G Harrogate-Bramley, who wrote all this, in their own turns. And now it's my turn, so yes...
Frequently Asked Questions
Version 3 - 17TH June 2003
By Kramer April 2002, and edited by Nick in June 2003, and now Bazzu in June 2004
1. Q: Is Jar Jar Binks really cool?
2. Q: The Executor/Jostein/Kramer connection?
A: They are all Norwegians.
3. Q: Why does a newsgroup with "jar-jar-binks.die.die.die" in it love Jar Jar? Isn't that just crazy?
A: "That's why we're here!" - Obi-Wan Kenobi
Wes Hutchings changed the charter. The Jar Jar haters died out and moved to jarjarbinks.die.die.die, where they had the curse of having no dashes between Jar, Jar, and Binks.
4. Q: Is AFSJJBDDD "spoiler-free" when it comes to new movies?
A: Yep! We keep it 100% spoiler free. Spoilers will be prosecuted under the fullest sense of the law (well, that's true!). Of course, there is the odd exception, but normally only for Charlie Maul, because we just love him so.
5. Q: Who is Nick Murdoch? Why does he appear?
[I couldn't make myself delete this question :oD - Nick]
[I could :oD - Baz]
6. Q: Why does Obi-Wan in TESB say Yoda was his teacher but in TPM it's Qui-Gon?
A: Because it was Jar Jar Binks who in reality taught him the ways of the force... Qui-Gon and Yoda were only his English and Maths teachers. Since it was so cold on Hoth, Obi-Wan didn't have time to explain that.
7. Q: Are Jar Jar and Executor brothers?
A: Even though they look the same, it's not proved that they are brothers.
8. Q: What does Jar Jar mean?
A: Nothing, it's a name!
9. Q: What is Gungan?
A: "Det skal du gje deg faen i" -- Kramer
10. Q: Is Jar Jar a Jedi? Who trained him?
A: Yes, the most poweful of them all! But he can't use his powers because of his clumsiness, it would be too dangerous. Boss Nass, Jedi Master and his father, trained him, as detailed in Mesa, Senator!
11. Q: Did the droids give Wedge a wedgie?
A: Not that I know of...
12. Q: Did Jar Jar Binks shout "Carrie" at the end of Episode IV?
A: No, he wasn't in that film... yet.
13. Q: What is meant by "Cannon"?
A: It's a great show from the 70's, starring William Conrad, who also narrated the "making of Star Wars" in '77 or something.
14. Q: What is the difference between George Lucas and Jar Jar Binks?
A: They are two completely different persons. Who is greatest is hard to tell.
15. Q: Will there be episodes 7-9 based on the life of Jar Jar?
A: No, but Nick's writing Episodes 7-9 with characters that could, in theory, be replaced by Jar Jar. Mesa, Senator covers the entity of Jar Jar's EU adventures.
16. Q: Missing scenes?
A: Yes, very much. We would like to see some of the Jar Jar cut-scenes get back into TPM.
17. Q: What is the "Star Wars Holiday Special"?
A: It's a TV-movie from 1978 that's so bad that it isn't even funny...and that's what's what's so extremely funny about it. You gotta love it!
18. Q: In what story did Jar Jar Binks turn to the Dark Side?
A: None, that was Luke.
19. Q: What falls into the category of advertisements?
A: An advertisement is defined as a notice designed to gain public attention or patronage. This primarily applies to sales/auction posts as well as trading/wanted posts... but it could also include a number of other things. Web site promotions are great, especially if the site correlates to AFSJJBDDD in some manner. XXX promotions are ALLOWED. We also care for eBay posts.
20. Q: Why are my advertisements wanted?
A: If we want to see what eBay has to offer, we'll visit link. If we want vintage action figures, we'll look at your collecting sites. Advertisements makes the newsgroup bigger, and it will hopefully one day be part of the normal flow of traffic on AFSJJBDDD.
21 Q: Where should I post my advertisements?
A: Anywhere! Except on AFS, as they don't seem to like it very much. But especially on Aglami! They love that kinda stuff!
22. Q: What happens if I ignore these guidelines?
A: You will probably be flamed upon your first offense, and after repeat offenses, you will be killfiled (ignored).
23. Q: What do I do if I see a Jar Jar hater?
A: This is more a matter of personal taste, but here are a few tactics that you can use...
- i) Say that you like Jar Jar Binks, loving Jar Jar only encourages others to like him too.
- ii) Give them emotional responses saying that Jar Jar is cool. It's fun to read Jar Jar Binks posts if you're a fan.
- iii) Use the "If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen" method: Killfile the Jar Jar haters. It is considered that this action to be warranted only after a repeat offense. Plonk at will.
- iv) Threaten to report them to The Cheer-Up Committee, this causes them to hate less...
- v) DO Report them to AFSJJBDDD. Cross-posting ridiculous Jar Jar hating posts is just kids play and it is not acknowledged as a serious offence...the Jar Jar haters are easily killfiled...even if they do change their names frequently, it only takes another click and they're gone, but then you don't get the chance to have some fun with them.
- vi) "Cheer up" the Jar Jar Binks haters! One of the Cheer-Up Committee's main goals is to make everyone love Jar Jar....use any methods necessary to achieve that goal!
24. Q: So what's with the curse of AFSJJBDDD?
A: The final move of the Jar Jar haters was to impose a terrible curse on our newsgroup, making it impossible for there to be more than three regulars at a time in AFSJJBDDD.
The prophesy was true. Nick Murdoch joined AFSJJBDDD, and soonafter, Wes left due to family issues. fitwell joined and left. Emperor briefed his existance, leaving shortly afterwards. It was a dark time
But then, something MIRACULOUS happened... a young Jedi named Bazilla entered the realm, and sold his soul to us, becoming the Sith Apprentice Count Bazzu. This FORTH current member of AFSJJBDDD expanded the curse. FIVE people could now fit into AFSJJBDDD, and they did. An Aglamian called Luke came along. But then, the part-time posters began. The likes of Threatener, Darth Quokka, Charlie Maul, The Emperor reborn, and so on populated the total of one regular, and Luke was repelled. To this day, we wait for the curse to be lifted entirely. But when this will happen is unknown even to the Whills. Even now, only 5 members are allowed, in the current shape of Kramer, Bazzu, Coordy Kid, TT and Charlie Maul. We beg of a 6th to come and join.
25. Q: So, what's with the "days till AATA" countdown?
A: It's a tradition countdown to 100 days before Episode III. It would have been dead on, but Kramer can't count backwards, and none of us bothered to check his "maths".
25. Q: So can I post one?
A: Sure, why not.
25. Q: HOW do I post one?
A: Well, create a new thread, and title is "xxx days till AATA opening". No more, no less, no quotes and no full stop. Then write whatever the hell you want inside the message. Also replace xxx with a link to your favorite porn site, I mean the number of days to go.
26. Q: WHEN can I post one?
A: At @000 (Swatch Internet Time) on the day of the actual number you're posting at. @000 is midnight Norwegian time, which is usually 23:00 GMT.
26. Q: The 880 days till AATA opening thread?
A: Hmmmm... go on...
27. Q: Well, what's with is?
A: Well, most information can be found on the specific page. However, in short, it's believed to be the 2nd longest thread in all newsgroups ever. A faboulous feat that continues to attempt to be a record of all records.
28. Q: Sounds great, will I be allowed to join in?
A: Sure, just go onto the newsgroup, find the thread [not very challenging] and post to it. We do request that you don't cross-post the thread to another newsgroup, as it's an acheivEment we wish to keep solely to AFSJJBDDD.
29. Q: I have another question, but, I'm not exactly comfortable asking it at an FAQ...
A: Well, that's fine, just go to the newsgroup and ask there, we'll be glad to welcome you. Or you could e-mail me with your question or stuff like that...
The AFSJJBDDD FAQ is never posted on AFSJJBDDD. If you have any suggestions for new questions or alterations to existing ones please bring them up in the newsgroup and they will be considered. Or not. Or something.